Whole30 failure, not really a failure but a realization.

Hey all,

As you all know I’ve been doing the Whole30 this past week. I failed miserably but I do not look at myself as a failure or that I failed. It was a trial with some error and I just figured out that Paleo wasn’t for me. Figuring out what works best for you takes time, sure, I’m a little dissappointed because I’ve heard of great results from it but, I’m not going to put all of my eggs in one basket. Howevever, in my opinon when it comes to losing weight, you need to keep track of what you eat. I am not a fan of counting calories but I am a somewhat fan of counting macronutrients (carbohydrates, protein, and fat).

For awhile I was against counting anything, probably because I wasn’t educated much on it. However, I’ve been reading and learning and I knew that for me anyway I have to count SOMETHING in order to keep myself and eating in check. I knew that calories was out of the question primarily because it can be obsessive, especially for someone who has an eating disorder. For weight loss or fat loss, your protein should NOT be 1g per body weight! That is typically used for bulking or maintaing. For weight loss/fat loss it should be .8g per body weight so for me, (I am not a registered dietician or fitness professional, this information is from my own research and knowledge) I’m 153lbs my protein intake should be 120g per day. I get this through lean meats, protein powders, peanut butter in moderation, and light cheese sticks which also help with my fat intake.

On a reflective note, because I felt restricted and out of control (not like WOAHHHH out of control but like, I couldn’t choose what I wanted to eat or, I couldn’t eat a light cheese stick or a rice cake if I wanted because it was a grain or dairy) but anyways, I threw my hands up the other night at Friendly’s because I was hungry, just got out of a workout, and felt restricted so I got loaded waffles fries, mini cheesebruger sliders, mozzarella sticks, (create your own munchie mania always gets me, damn you Friendly’s Resturants!), and a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup Friendz. It was all so delicious and it filled my belly but I paid for it and still am. So, I took a step back and restarted my Whole30, then yesterday I piged out on chocolate chips, peanut butter, and potato chips because I felt like I was restricting myself.

This is why I cannot follow meal plans, or strict guidelines or a fad diet. I need to be in charge of what goes in and out of my mouth because that creates triggering feelings in referene to my eating disorder if I don’t contrust my own meal plans and guidelines. Call me a control freak but making your own success makes it all worth it. I’m not ashamed that I didn’t finish the Whole30, I learned a lot in terms of good foods, bad foods, and everything in between. I take it as a learning experience and it just reassured me that a Paleo lifestyle isn’t for me and that is okay! I’m still going to train hard, eat good, and feel good because I know I’m doing what is best for me.

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Looking Back…

Today I went through some of my old posts and realized I am such a different person. I read a post about how empty, lonely, and unhappy I felt, and I look at myself now and wow..have I changed or what? During that time I REALLY struggled with my eating disorder and my own demons. I didn’t know how to be loved or be in a serious relationship because I couldn’t open myself up. Almost a year later and I’m the happiest I’ve been. I’m working on myself physically and mentally, I have the greatest relationship with the greatest woman I know, I have some awesome friends, and things in life are just falling into place.

The past week or so it has been tough but instead of really letting it change me and my mindset, I’m just accepting things and moving on because I have SO many things to look forward to such as finishing my Whole30, starting a new job hopefully, GOING TO ITALY, and just having a great summer! I’m really blessed to have my girlfriend Lexi though, she has just been with me every step of the way and has truly guided me through some dark spots in my life. I am not only lucky to have her as my best friend, but my lover, I never thought I could be this happy with someone (sorry for the corniness!).

But all in all it is scary to know that at one time in my life I was in such a low place. I hated myself and I hated everyone who tried to love me, I mean, not literally hated them but I pushed them so far away because I didn’t know how to deal with all the emotions I had inside. I am a much more positive person now and I love that, I love that I try to find the good in things. Sure, I can have bad days and sure, I can hate the world and myself but instead, I don’t dwell in it. I accept it and move on and think of something positive, finding a “bright side” has never been my strong suit but I guess now you could say I’m almost like Hey Arnold! He always tried to find a bright side and so do I it seems now.

Life is goes on whether we like it or not, we can’t always control the things in our lives and it has taken me a long time to realize that. Since starting the Whole30 I’ve been dealing with like sugar and processed food withdrawals and each time the wave hits me, I panic and just want to stuff my face with chips but I don’t let my BED win, I don’t let the cravings win, instead I put a positive spin on it and eat some carrot sticks. I think, “I’m going to look and feel damn good after this Whole30” or, “I’m going to be so knowledgeable about this Whole30 thing I can’t wait to be THAT success story!” I’m trying to be my own motivation and not compare myself to others. It is easy to do that, it is easy to look at someone and wish you had their hair, biceps, abs or whatever! Instead, I want to try to focus more on myself, more on my flaws and beautiful traits. I know this is all so cliche, but in life we have to be happy because that is all we have!

Whole30 Day One

First day on the Whole30 was not too bad. The beginning of the day was solid but towards the end I was craving chips and sweets so I had an apple with almond butter and that seemed to cool my jets. I also lifted and cleaned my room today so I was pretty active!

I definitely need to find more Whole30 friendly snacks because that’s going to be my issue. I love food so eating this basic is definitely tough for me but I’m going to push through! 

Whole30 Challenge

Hey all,

SO, we all know I’ve been doing TIU and their 5DSD and to be honest, I just didn’t feel like it was for me. I mean, I felt better in terms of my health and I was sleeping much better but I just feel like there is more I can do to better my health. I was on YouTube looking up “Paleo diet” and found a YouTuber, I believe her name is Tara, and Tara talked about the Whole30 and how she lost twenty pounds in a month and completely changed her health and relationship with food and I though,”wow, I could seriously try that!” My Uncle Steve is a crossfiter who has in the passed been strict Paleo and felt great and looked great! At the gym I lift and do circuit training but I’ve never been consistent I found Nerd Fitness through my Paleo travels and joined their Women 101 program and felt at home, finally! Steve Kamp, the creator of nerd fitness is goofy, friendly, down to earth and posts some awesome information. So, getting back to the Whole30, I’m going to incorporate the Whole30 challenge while doing the workouts from Nerd Fitness. Their workouts incorporate a lot of heavy lifting and circuits and I think that together, I could achieve some great results. I’m reading up on Paleo while I do the Whole30 and I’m going to check in everyday with what I ate and did for workouts. I’m going to do a separate post soon about Nerd Fitness as well! Stay tuned! 

 

Jess