I’ve been gone for some time now, not really writing, not really doing anything. I’ve been in this unmotivated funk for awhile, what actually seems like forever and not only do I believe that the winter season brings me down, but also myself. I’ve bene standing in my own way and I’ve been allowing my laziness cloud my judgement on many things. Recently I have signed a lease for an art studio in Lowell, MA at the Western Avenue Studios and I am so excited to get my photography business up and running and possibly selling some of my paintings. So, it is time to get my shit together. No more screwing around and not having my priorities in order. I am someone who needs a plan, something laid out for me to understand and grasp. I hate feeling like I have no direction or control in my life and lately that is exactly what has been happening but no more.
I’ve updated my photography website so please check it out if you have a minute, I promise to be blogging more, sometimes life just drowns me and I can’t swim to the top.
We all know that life tends to throw unfortunate plot twists into our lives. When we are most happy, something is bound to go wrong at some point to screw it all up right? Well, it is not the situation you have to focus on, but more or less how you deal with it. My life growing up was never a walk in the park. I dealt with being bullied, difficult relationships, my eating disorder, losing and gaining weight, losing a job, changing my major because I’ve been so unsure of my life, the list is endless.
Sure, I haven’t always dealt with my problems positively, hell, I never really have. The initial reaction to something unpleasant is usually panic, anger, or an ocean of tears. I allow myself to feel those things, those emotions, and let them over flow my mind and allow myself to feel that grief, but then I try to put myself together and really look at the bigger picture. So what If I gained fifteen pounds since June? Yes, it was my own fault and there is no one to blame but me. Yes it sucks, of course it sucks but complaining and crying about it isn’t going to make me feel better or help me lose the weight. What I had to do to realize that is pretty much give myself a pep talk, coach myself into knowing that with determination and willpower, I can achieve weight loss, I can achieve positivity and wellness. It is not going to be easy and some days I won’t want to do cardio or eat my greens and that is okay, as long as I keep going.
Dealing with difficult emotions can bring us down surely, but remember that there is always a silver lining and some positivity that will come out of your hardship. If you are dealing with an unpleasant time in your life, pull yourself together and give yourself that pep talk that you need to move forward because life will continue to move along, like a wave in the ocean.
I’m so HAPPY. Yes…HAPPY! Being healthy and having goals for myself really motivates me and puts a smile on my face.
For some reason…choosing to be healthy makes me way more confident in myself..does that make any sense?
I feel when people look at me they think “damn that girl is healthy” but in reality they probably don’t pay any attention but, hey! A girl can dream right!
As long as I’m smiling I’m happy.