I’ve been away & My experience with a Beachbody Coach

Hello readers,

I’m so happy to be back writing on here seeing as I’ve been MIA forever.  I’ve been doing my Tumblr thing and just writing here and there but I’m back for good.  I missed actually writing and people actually reading what I had to say.  So I passed all of my finals and got my associates degree, woohoo!  I started a new job (same company just a new position) and couldn’t be happier.  I work full time now so that is a little hard to get used too, but I am waking up at 5am just fine and getting my work done!

Moving onto my experience with a Beachbody Coach, for those of you who don’t know what Beachbody is, it is a fitness and healthy company that produces workout DVDs such as P90x, Insanity, and the 21 Day Fix along with their shake called Shakeology and other “nutritious” food options. Recently I created a fitness IG (if you want to follow me my username is jaeysjourney), on my IG journey I have “met” some incredibly healthy and inspiring people.  I was approached by this pretty young lady, we will call her Alice, and she started to tell me about how she coaches people and helps them better themselves for free and I thought wow..that is a good deal.  Getting into it more she started to ask me about who I am and what not and then soon after she asked me if I wanted to join her challenge on Facebook. However, to join I would have to pay $140 dollars for this shake called Shakeology and this plan called the 21 Day Fix. Well, I know that these are Beachbody products and I thought to myself why wouldn’t she just say she is a Beachbody coach? Probably because Beachbody is a damn pyramid scheme but at the time I didn’t know better and I thought why not, wouldn’t hurt to give these products a try and I know some people who love them.  I order my 21 Day Fix and soon after Alice asks me if I want to be a part of this “Coaches Sneak Peak” group to learn about coaching.  I didn’t know what it entailed and not that I really wanted to be a coach but I was curious so I signed up.  Right away she starts talking about not “selling” these products but showing the customer that they NEED them.  Everything she had to say just reminded me of how much I hate sales and it is clear that she and her “team” are  more focused on the commission rather than actually helping people.

I ended up finishing the videos and realized that I did NOT want to support this company or this woman. She appeared to be genuine but ended up being a sales chaser, like okay lady, I have two years of sales experience and I HATE sales, let me repeat, I HATE SALES.  I was disappointed to say the least but I just couldn’t justify buying these products from her so I told her that I had to return what I bought and that I already got the refund process going through Beachbody’s website well, let me tell you the attitude came out of dear Alice slowly but surely.  At first she was a bit bitter then offered me a job as a coach under her so I can make extra money and when I kindly told her no that I wasn’t interested she said that I wasn’t making enough out of myself and that she will find better candidates to take her offer.  I promise you I wasn’t offended.  I am 21 years old, work full time, have an associates degree, and I am a photographer.  I don’t need someone to tell me my worth whatsoever. I have come a long way as many of my readers know and what someone has to say about me or think about me does NOT define me.

After that fiasco I was sad because I know lately I’ve been slacking on my food tracking and motivation and I just wanted SOMETHING other than calorie counting to hold me accountable and help me keep track of my food intake.  I follow this incredible young woman named Amanda Tyson (IG: Amandaleetyson please go follow her!) she just started Weight Watchers Online Plus plan and seriously raves about it and how flexible it is.  This is where I fail during the week: I’m usually spot on with all my food and workouts but come the weekends I don’t know how to treat myself without over-indulging and ruining my progress.  Well, WW has these plus points that you can use to treat yourself throughout the week or weekend which will definitely help me find that balance. Also, fruits and veggies are freebies I don’t have to worry about eating a banana or too many strawberries because they are added to my point allowance already! I thought that was pretty neat.

I’m trying it out and I’m eager to see how it will work for me, it syncs with my Fitbit Charge HR and as I get more active throughout the day or when I exercise it adds points for me to eat so I’m not starving myself.  I will do an update a week from tomorrow to tell you how WW Online and me are getting along.

I’m so happy to be back and to share my life with you all again.


Happy Monday – Finals Week

Good morning Readers,

Happy Monday, let the week of finals, no sleep, and stress begin. I’ve been bad this semester, unmotivated, depressed, and just in a funk that has probably affected my grades greatly. I’m worried that my actions may leave me in a troubled spot, but this week I’m going to do the best that I can and that is all I can do. If I fail then it is a learning lesson to grow from, nothing is the end of the world, everything has its own lesson to teach. I’ve owned my mistakes and faults this semester, I didn’t care, at all and that isn’t me. I let my own laziness and sadness prevent me from working hard. My ADD makes it tough for me to focus and stay on track and that problem became evident during this Spring semester. I don’t want to go back on Adderoll, it makes me jumpy, not hungry, and a little fuzzy when I come down from the medicine and I hate it. I would much rather a more natural method if I can find one.

On another note, I’ve been doing well with moving and eating. Yesterday Zach and I went on a 2.5 mile nature walk at a local state park and it was so refreshing. I really love walking especially when it is beautiful out and the scenery is so welcoming. I’ve been religiously using my Fitbit Flex, hitting all of my goals including steps, water intake, active minutes, and all that good stuff. I drank almost 100 fl oz of water yesterday and I’m pretty proud of that. I get out of work at 1:30 today and before I dive into my homework and papers, I think I’ll go for a quick jog to just refocus and get my blood going because sometimes I get tired after working the morning shift but I need to stay on track.

On a personal note, I’ve been seeing someone for the past couple of months and he is perfect. I’m pretty lucky to be with someone who is so supportive and loving. I almost feel inadequate because he is so genuine, and not that I’m not, I just am not used to such an easy going relationship I feel like I don’t deserve him or the relationship itself. We don’t see each other every day or text non stop but when we are together it is all smiles and laughs. I’ve never felt so comfortable with someone and I am so thankful to have him in my life.

This week is going to be hectic but I pray to God that I can make this all work and if not, then I know that I owned my mistakes and to do better next time.

Muscle gains and mental struggles

Losing weight, no one wants to put the effort in because it isn’t easy and believe me, there are some days I don’t want to go to the gym or eat a salad instead of cheese puffs but, I’ve made a lot of progress since my first diet bet in the beginning of December. I’ve been hitting the gym consistently and seeing myself shrink slowly but surely. On the weekends I’ve been going a little crazy and some nights during the week I pig out while watching Netflix but I’m getting a handle on it and overall I’ve made a big improvement compared to how my habits were two months ago. I haven’t weighed myself in about three weeks, I don’t really care too much about it because I’m lifting weights and eating protein so I’m making those muscle gains! I’ve never really had biceps before and they are starting to peek out, along with my manly awesome tricep muscles. I am curious though seeing that I weighed 150 pounds at the end of November and last time I weighed myself I was 142, yippie! I’ve definitely fluctuated due to the gluten free Domino’s pizza and margaritas, but I’m enjoying life and not depriving myself. I do want to really try to clean my diet up more and save my splurges for one night per week rather than three. I want to be the best I can be and I know I can achieve the results I am seeking with hard work. It feels good to wear clothes that didn’t fit me for a long time. I haven’t been this size in well over a year and I’m proud of my progress thus far and I don’t plan on stopping. 2015 is going to be my year I’m going to achieve the things I’ve always wanted to achieve. I’m not going to hold myself back any longer.

The last week or so I’ve been struggling with my anxiety. I find that around the time that my lady friend comes to visit me each month my mental health just crumbles to the ground and I’m just stepping all over the broken pieces. I’ll have my moments of feeling inspired and happy, then in a instant I’m shoved into a dark corner that I can’t seem to get out of. I know a lot of my anxiety has to do with insecurity and anxiousness when it comes to my relationships whether they are personal or professional. I am constantly doubting myself and creating these horrific scenarios in my brain to the point where I’m in tears and have no clue what’s real and what isn’t. I think that is probably the most frustrating thing about having anxiety is the made up truths that it creates in your brain. My anxiety toys with these horrible ideas and manipulates them so many times that I’ll start to believe whatever it tells me whether its my friends hate me or I suck at my job or I’m a terrible person in general and sometimes I see those things as the truth when my normal brain knows that it’s not. I try to sit there in my room inside my head and tell myself not to listen to my anxiety and to my irrational thoughts. I do put my best effort into putting an end to those negative notions but sometimes I don’t win. I am overtaken by the darkness and it swallows me whole. Meditation has helped a lot along with yoga, and writing always seems to give me some sort of perspective and I am thankful for that. I am thankful that I don’t just give up on myself but the effect that my anxiety has on my life is going to ruin my relationships if I don’t get a better understanding of it. I am constantly learning about myself and how my brain works, I just hope that the pieces fall together quickly and I can finally have a break from this mental torment.

Jess goes gluten free: day 4

Hello readers,

Today is my fourth day on gluten free and since Monday I’ve lost three pounds! Yesterday was the holiday and yet again I stayed right on track and stuck with meat, potatoes, and vegetables. It feels good to clean my body out and to replenish it with good foods. I’ve noticed too that since going gluten free I am not eating as much junk, if any, and I’m consuming much more fruits and vegetables. This morning I meal planned after I ate breakfast (gluten free waffles!) by making a baby spinach salad with gluten free chicken tender strips, tortilla strips, and Annie’s lite Goddess dressing, along with a gluten free cookie because who doesn’t love cookies?

I’m still logging my food in my fitness pal because even gluten free junk food doesn’t mean they are freebies to just eat as many as I want. I still want to stay mindful because I still have goals that I want to reach. I’m hopeful to meet my goal of fitting into my size 4 jeans by March, possibly even hit my goal weight of 125lbs. But I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t truly care how much I weigh because at the gym I lift weights and am building muscle so, if I weigh 130-135lbs but am primarily muscle that is definitely okay with me. I miss wearing my size fours though, or at least feeling comfortable in my smaller clothes. For a long time I let myself pack on the pounds and became depressed because of it. I’m not a big person, I am about 5’1 maybe a little shorter, so being 155lbs is a lot on a little body such as mine. I’ve been here before too, I’ve let weight creep on me and then restricted and punished myself till I lost the weight again, but this time around it is much different.

Rather than being angry with myself I have accepted that life happens and the only thing that will make it change is if I work hard and reward myself along the way. So, when I lost my first five pounds I got my nails done, when I lose ten maybe I’ll get a pedicure or something. I’m doing this the healthy and positive way, I will not restrict myself (unless it has gluten obviously) and I will continue to persevere because no one is going to lose this weight for me. I am so motivated and confident in what my body can accomplish. Also, this time around I am much more educated on nutrition and fitness which I think is extremely beneficial because I know what I need to fuel my body to get a proper workout in and how to prevent injury in the gym.

I’m happy. Sure, I’m not always but when it comes to this particular aspect in my life I am truly happy and pleased with my progress thus far. Thank you to all of you who have been so supportive and commenting on my posts, it truly means so much. Happy Friday everyone!

I’ve been slacking

cropped-10527382_10203597930764576_7407363280461364714_n.jpgThe past week I’ve been dragging ass in reference to taking pictures. I wake up, go to the gym or work, then come home and either go out or stay in. I’m mad at myself, kind of like, dude…you enjoy taking pictures so, why aren’t you taking them? Same with writing, I’ve been slacking with my journal too and the first or second post I did on my blog after my trip was to write daily and take pictures. HELLO JESS! You can say how you want to do all of these things but, you actually HAVE to do them! 

I’m such a goober sometimes, I have all these hopes and dreams and then I get lazy, so lazy. Tomorrow I’m hiking Mount Major with Jese and I’m bringing my damn camera and taking an obnoxious amount of pictures because that is what I enjoy doing. I don’t want to get stale in terms of my creativity, I don’t want to fall back into this life where I wake up, work, and go to bed. No, life has so much more to offer than that. I need to capture it’s beauty through the lens and write how it has affected me in my journal, or let it inspire a poem or short story, something to get my artistic juices flowing.

I miss Italy where everything was so beautiful, and capturing it made it much more exciting, whether it was taking a picture or taking in my surroundings and writing, I felt so relaxed and at peace with myself. Here it’s hard with all the commotion and distractions such as work and other priorities, but hobbies and things such as photography and writing have to be priorities as well, especially since they give me such happiness.

I’ve somewhat gotten back in the gym since I’ve been back, even though I was sick I still pushed through and kicked butt because I know how happy it makes me. Since I haven’t been sleeping well I’ve been choosing sleep over the gym but I am one hundred percent okay with that because I need sleep to function! Also, I’ve been doing pretty well with eating too so I’m confident that I’m on the right track and tomorrow’s hike will be a bunch of fun and challenging. I look forward to mentally and physically pushing myself because sometimes that is what you need to rise above all the outside bullshit, and the bullshit in your own mind. 


A brighter day

Today is much brighter. I woke up knowing today was a brand new day and I could make of it what I wanted. Although things aren’t perfect, I don’t expect them to be because life isn’t meant to be put together all the time. The past few days I’ve sort of locked myself in my room, especially yesterday, I laid in bed all day until the evening and even then I was just too mentally and physically tired to get up. I don’t want that to be my life, I don’t want to stay in the house all summer and not experience life and not that I haven’t been, I just have to drag myself out of the house to do it.

I find that I am really pushing myself out of my comfort zone when I do that. Before, I would refuse any get together with my friends or even new people because I just felt too anxious and let myself feel too tired to go out but this time around I’m making myself feel uncomfortable because the feeling after you do is so incredible. I feel stronger, empowered, and released of all extra anxious baggage, I’m proud of myself and what I’ve accomplished in my life especially the last year. 

This summer I am taking every advantage I can to explore, whether it is an hours drive or right down the street. I’m not missing any moment that can be taken advantage of and learned. I woke up today knowing that it was going to be good whether or not I just went to work and came home or went out with my friends or whatever, just telling myself it will be a good day puts me in the right mindset to make such a day. 

The Game of Life

The last few nights I’ve had a lot on my mind, I can’t fall asleep and my mind is racing. I have so many emotions that have come up and it is mentally weighing me down, I’m trying to grab hold to the happiness I’ve discovered and continue to be positive but everyone is entitled to a bad day right?

My heart is beating, there is air in my lungs, and I’m alive, I should be grateful and I am, for the most part. I just wish I could have a day that I could just turn off my emotions, forget about the world for a day and regroup in a more positive manner. Sometimes I feel like I am at a dead end and have nowhere to turn, but then, there is something that always takes me by surprise.

I don’t like feeling like I need a reset button or a get out of your head free card for a day, it’s just…sometimes I get scared that I will go back to that person who started this blog, back to the person who hated life, emotion, and themselves. I don’t EVER want to go back because If I go back…I’m afraid I’ll never leave that dark, scary, hopeless place again. I like to think that I won’t because in actuality, I am a different person than who I was before, I am more positive and bright but, my depression does come back around every now and again and toys with me, it toys with my emotions and leaves me questioning every feeling I have and why I am here in this crazy life, although I know and have realized that at some point in time I will figure out what I am meant to do, my anxiety likes to remind me of the fear of the unknown. However, I’ve embraced that unknown, I am much stronger now than I was two years ago and I can fight through any obstacle my mind or life puts in place. It might be difficult right now, but through hard work and positivity, I know I can overcome this, it is just a matter of time, right?