Meet my friend Jer. In Italy I met some incredible people and he is one of them hands down. I’ve been struggling since I’ve been home in terms of readjusting and realizing that I won’t be around the same people anymore and that my life is going to be different. I haven’t really come to terms with the fact that my life is in fact, going to be different than it was before I left for my trip.
Who I am now is much different than the Jess before Italy, I don’t really know what to make of it to be honest, but I’m lucky to have such great friends that I’ve made. This morning I had a rough time, I woke up in tears because I miss my friends and I miss the lifestyle of Italy and being in the most beautiful country in the world. I was so used to having my own apartment and going to the grocery store on my own and cooking, actually being a grown up appealed to me, but Jer helped me realize that I am lucky to be home, and that this is a new chapter in my life and that I need to take every chance I can to better my life experiences and myself. I can’t fathom the idea of not having these incredible people in my life. Thank you Italy for showing me how incredible life can be.
My goals now are to get back on track with exercise and a healthy diet regimen along with picking up photography, I may not be great but I’ve learned some from Jer and I find that I really enjoy expressing myself through pictures. I also re-registered for the fall semester and am taking Painting I, Intro to Digital Photography, Intro to Philosophy, and Practical Logic, I am so excited to see what I learn and where my artistic abilities can go with these different classes. This whole soul searching thing has really benefited me and I’m happy that I am now really finding myself and going with the flow rather than stressing about the next day and the day after that, seize the day my friends.
I haven’t posted on my trip because a lot has happened since I’ve been gone. I’m a new person, I am someone who has truly seen a different side of themselves and the world. I got to explore the most beautiful country and eat delicious food, all while finding myself. In Italy I wasn’t worried about losing weight, being in relationships, or anything really because I emerged myself into this trip, I took every advantage and made damn sure that I had a clear mind and positive energy each day I was there because there was no room for negativity.
I miss it crazy there. I miss my friends and the adventures that I would go on everyday. It is going to be a battle that I’ll have to fight for some time to get over the fact that I’m not there anymore. I created a home there, a routine, and friendships. It is bittersweet.
Usually when I’m overwhelmed I am focused on ONE emotion and ONE sad idea that would bring me to the idea of being overwhelmed. Well folks, this is ground breaking news: I am overwhelmed by many emotions in reference to my trip to Italy in two weeks. In less than sixteen days I will be traveling to the most beautiful country and staying in the most beautiful city. Why am I so overwhelmed? I should be excited, happy, grateful and I am all of those things!
Today at work I’ve been going on Florence University of the Arts website and looking at pictures and reading blogs of students who have stayed there and lived as a study abroad students and it is getting me excited but also sad and nervous. Sad because I am such a mommy and daddy’s girl that it brings tears to my eyes when I think of when I have to say goodbye for three weeks, to them and to Lexi it makes me very very sad. I mean, this is my family, my life, the blood that runs through my veins and the love I have for these people is what makes me who I am. Who will I be without them for three weeks? I think that is what scares me the most is being without Mom, Dad, and Lexi. I love them all so much it pains me to leave but at the same time I am thrilled to go on this adventure and discover parts of me I never knew and learn about Italy and explore! This is an oppritunity of a lifetime and I couldn’t be happier but it is also bittersweet to say goodbye. Not goodbye, more like see you later because I will come back and be home with the ones I love. I know it is only temporary but nonetheless it is still upsetting.
Tears come to my eyes because I am excited, scared, sad, happy, all of the above! Life over there is so much different so it seems and I can’t wait to just put myself into the culture head on and experience it all! I am grateful for this oppritunity and I am also thankful to have these incredible people to call my family.
In the midst of changing my job and finishing the semester, the countdown to Italy is now less then two months away. It is crazy to think that about a year ago I contacted Marcy interested in going, never really thinking it was going to go anywhere, but now I’m going to be embarking on a trip of a lifetime. Three weeks exploring Florence, Italy and other surrounding areas. Being in the Tuscany region of Italy is a dream come true for me. I remember watching Under the Tuscan Sun starring Diane Lane a few years ago and thinking, “Wow, Italy is so beautiful, especially Tuscany, I would love to go there!” Look at me now! I’m going to live out my dream of being Diane Lane! Just kidding, not so much the Diane Lane part but still exploring the most beautiful part of Italy!
Of course my anxiety is going through the roof, I’m thinking of losing weight (obviously), what I’ll bring, what I don’t have, what my apartment will look like, who I’ll room with in terms of the two other girls from another school in the U.S., and what I’ll do in my spare time! It is all so overwhelming but exciting, I’m finally breaking out of my shell it seems and really putting myself to the test this June because I’ll be living on my own, cooking for myself, and living an independent life sort of. I thank my parents for financially helping me to go on this trip of a lifetime because if it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be going. Lexi has helped me mentally as well, we’ve talked about how careful I have to be in terms of when I go out and the people I walk to and what necessities I will bring. She has also eased my mind too, I was worried about communication because Italy is six hours ahead of the United States but shes assured me that no matter what time or place we will talk. I know I’ll be home sick, that is just the kind of person I am, but I also know I’m going to be busy and learning so much!
I wish it was already June 7, but I know that when my parents drop me off it is going to be filled with tears, hugs, and kisses. I’m so thankful and blessed to have these beautiful people in my life, and I’m also thankful and grateful to be able to go on this trip.