New Year’s Resolutions 

We all know this time of year very well. People start thinking of resolutions or goal for the new year to come.

For many, this goal is usually to lose weight. Gyms will start having their sign on specials, health websites will start having sales on supplement stacks, and fitness clothes will be all the new rage.

As for me, this has been my New Year’s Resolution as long as I can remember especially after a holiday season filled with so much food and pictures. Pictures that you see yourself in and think, “I just need to lose x amount of weight and I will be where I want to be, that picture is my motivation.”

I am going to tell you guys something very real about me. This morning, I went on Facebook and saw that my Mom had posted pictures from yesterday and saw myself in one. Mind you, I was wearing jeggings, an oversized sweater, and my hair was kind of messy (I sort of like it that way) but, when I looked at this photo I instantly thought, “I need to lose weight this coming year, I just can’t stand looking at myself in this picture.” After that thought had come and gone, I felt very disappointed in myself. Lately I have been working so hard on breaking away from “losing weight” mentality but, through this journey I have put my health on the back burner. Disclaimer: I do believe when breaking free from the dieting world it is essential to just let go and relax. If that means eating less nutritionally dense foods and skipping the gym, that is 100% okay! Some people need to do this to recover and this is what I did. However, due to this neglect when it came to my health these past few months, I have been extremely bloated and swollen due to the fact that I haven’t been getting hardly any fiber whatsoever and have really slacked on eating fruits and vegetables. I also haven’t been sweating out any of the toxins going into my body from eating some of these not-so nutritionally dense foods which at the time was okay (and still is of course!) but, I want to treat my body better.

So, here they are, my goals for 2016.

  • Eat more fiber: I need to get my digestive system back on track with proper health because I have Celiac Disease and if by chance I eat gluten, I need a healthy digestive system to help me get rid of it.
  • Sweat more: I don’t mean as in, “to count calories burned, etc..” but, so I can treat my body with respect and feel better mentally and physically, in the hopes that I can sleep better and wake up feeling more refreshed.
  • Do more yoga: I have been upping my yoga game a lot lately. I try to aim to do it at least two times a week but I would like to get to the 4-5 days a week seeing as the results have been incredible both mentally and physically and it has brought me so much happiness and peace.
  • Forgive myself more: You are your own worst critic in all aspects of life, especially if you are an ex-dieter you know this all too well. This year I really want to work on letting things go and not being so hard on myself all of the time. I need to remember that I am not a perfect human being because things happen, life throws obstacles in your way, and what counts is working to get past them, not beat yourself up about it.
  • Practice mindfulness: This is a huge goal of mine (also: none of these are in particular order) I am always rushing through life whether it be eating, driving, exploring, writing, and so many other things. I forget to appreciate the different sensations and my surroundings and I miss out. I want to see the world for what it is, I want to live in the present because the past is the past and the future hasn’t come yet.
  • Read more: This is my last goal but, I want to read more. Lately I have been making the effort to pick up a book rather than my Apple TV remote but, I want this effort to be much more significant in the new year.

It would be wrong of me to lie to you and say that losing weight didn’t cross my mind, of course it did! I’m an ex-dieter trying to find her way on this journey of self love and body acceptance but, I do want to treat my mind and body right because this is the only body I’ve got. I am happy that I have some goals not related to health because I find that this is an important step in diet recovery. When you have goals solely focused on health, it could appear that maybe subliminally your goals reflect the subconscious idea of losing weight and although those are not my intentions, I think it is important to point this out for those in diet recovery  trying to think of resolutions/goals for the new year.

When it comes to New Year’s Resolutions, don’t think too much on it. Close your eyes, envision yourself lets say…six months from now, where do you want to be? What goals could get you to the point? And choose those as your goals. For example, by practicing mindfulness, by six months I hope to not eat so quickly and truly enjoy my food, and to also drive slower seeing as I have a very long commute to work I always tend to drive like a maniac and I would like to slow the pace down and enjoy the views even if it is snow. Having an image of what you want your life to be can really help when choosing these resolutions. Meditate on it, I promise that with some stillness and relaxation, these goals will come to you.

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Monday again

Alright, since I haven’t posted since last week here is an update of the last few days. 

Over the weekend I ate pretty intuitively but I find that I am more in tuned with my body and hunger cues when it’s not the weekend and when I’m not sitting in front of a television. It’s hard because I’m a midnight snacker and eating distracted prevents you from being in tune with your body so, going forward I am not eating in my room unless it’s portion sized and not an endless back of Veggie Straws because damn, I love those things so much! 

As far as my veggie like I was doing great until last night when we ordered Gluten Free pizza I wanted meat on one side for my boyfriend and the other without. Well, either I messed up the order or the pizza place did because there was so much meat everywhere since it was Philly cheesesteak so, needless to say my veggie morals were sort of out the window on that meal but overall I feel much better and have more energy. 

I even feel slimmer since deleting my calorie counting app. Not being consumed by a number and calories has really helped my mind relax and I’m picking healthy choices on my own which is so nice. 

My Misfit app for my Misfit Shine has an option to take pictures of your food to keep track without counting calories so I’m going to give that a try too just to see my consumption of goodies. 

I feel good and ready to really buckle down and get motivated for school which is starting next Monday, yikes! 

I hope you all had a fantastic weekend. 

Blah is the emotion of the day

I really hate when the day drags. Where it just feels like every minute is ten minutes passing by. It’s not that I’m not busy, it’s just I feel so tired and…yeah, tired. Sick and tired of being sick and tired. 

Some days I feel so alive, bright, and happy. Other days I feel so blah, dismal, and frustrated with the world. People driving piss me off, people around me piss me off, hell, even I piss myself off. It’s just today is one of those days that I’m just over it. Like Bye Felicia I’m done with you. 

Lately I’ve just been feeling so lost especially in regards to my health and fitness goals. Just sort of working out and tracking my food but not really enjoying it, you know what I mean? I feel discourage and unorganized and that’s two things that I hate feeling. Being unorganized and discouraged means I don’t have control. But having control 24/7 isn’t healthy and that’s a thing I’ve been working on, not having control. 

I know I just need to let go and take a deep breath. That things will work out when they are meant to work out but, I’m seriously ready for today to be over. At least I get to see my man and get ice cream, ice cream makes everything better, am I right? 

Positive minds achieve positive results

Alright alright, how many of us make plans to lose weight, get a six pack, or eat healthier, but to only find us a week later skipping the gym and shoveling a tub of ice cream down our throats, we’ve all been there. Look at me for instance, in 2012 I lost a good amount of weight and got down to my smallest size ever only to gain all of my lost weight back and then some only a year and a half later. Granted, the first time I lost weight it was very unhealthy, restrictive, and I was dealing with my eating disorder but it is still disappointing to achieve weight loss then gain it all back and then some. Many of you have followed me since day one and you have seen my constant battle with losing weight but I’m doing it differently this time. I am actually enjoying the process. I wake up ready to get my workout in and eat my good food that I have prepared to mow down on. Yes, I have been indulging a more than I probably should be lately but I’m finding my way by creating a balance that is allowing me to see the progress I want through cardio and weight lifting, while also enjoying drinks with friends and queso dip at the local Mexican restaurant. I’m telling myself that come summer time I won’t be ashamed or uncomfortable in shorts and a bathing suit like I was this past summer. I’m telling myself that I am going to be strong, fit, and healthy, because being negative when trying to better your health mentally and physically, you are just setting yourself up for failure.

I’m sick of ruining my progress and mindset by being negative. NEWS FLASH PEOPLE! Negativity never got anyone anywhere and I have finally figured that out. I’ve become a much more positive person and many people in my life know that to be true. We all know I have my moments and doubts and have my own demons to deal with but I’m doing the best with what I’ve got. I have no intentions of stopping my weight loss journey, nor do I have any intentions of not enjoying life. This weekend I am going out with friends and most likely I will drink too much but I will be laughing and living because that is what were supposed to do, live. I am making sure that this week however, is filled with good workouts and good food so I can in fact enjoy myself and not ruin the progress I am making. BALANCE. That is the key word in the equation when it comes to living a healthy life or if you are trying to lose weight. You won’t change over night and restricting your diet and working out for hours is only going to run you and your progress right into the ground. Being motivated is great, but being smart about the process is even more vital. I’ve been down the road where you restrict and restrict and you are miserable. You avoid going out because you don’t want to be put in a situation where you might have to eat badly or be faced with temptation, I get it, believe me. But rather looking as these situations negatively, see them as an opportunity to continue to choose healthy choices. Just because you are going out with friends doesn’t mean you have to eat pizza too. Or rather, eat a slice of pizza and enjoy it you just don’t need to eat the whole thing. I get frustrated when I see young girls or even girls my age trying to lose weight and they label all food as bad. NO FOOD IS BAD. That is right, pizza isn’t bad for you, cookies aren’t bad for you, they should be consumed in moderation yes, but they shouldn’t be labeled “bad”. We have formed this misconception that sugary and salty foods are going to ruin our diets and make us fat and yes, in some ways if they are consumed in large and frequent amounts they can cause those things. But, if you eat a balanced diet and you incorporate foods such as those you get to still enjoy the foods you love while also creating better eating habits. Moderation has been a hard idea for me to understand and live by and there are some days where
I’ll eat a whole tub of gluten free cookie dough but instead of beating myself up about it I just go extra hard at the gym or eat a better dinner. I’m sick of making myself feel bad when I enjoy good things in life, especially food.

I want you to join this journey with me on living a more healthy and positive life because it is important to remain focused and light hearted. Like I’ve said in my past I don’t know, three blog posts, 2015 is going to be my year, but it’s also going to be YOURS!