2.1.16

Hello all, how are you? Happy February 1st, 2016.

I haven’t posted in awhile, I guess I’ve been MIA in a lot of aspects of my life especially my blog, probably because I have no idea what to do with it.

My blog has changed a lot over the past few years since I’ve had it and I’ve always wanted to have one focus whether it be fitness, body positivity, minimalism, yoga, or Buddhism, but, to be completely honest, I have no desire to have one focus when it comes to my blog.

If you are one of my loyal readers then you know I like to change my mind a lot and go through many different phases and interests. It is hard having ADD because, you find yourself being bogged down by different trends in society whether they be positive or negative and, having a blog means sharing those thoughts and ideas and as you know, I have many.

Going forward I am no longer going to tie my blog down to one specific topic. If I choose to write about x, y ,or z or all three then I will because that is my choice. Ever since starting my Intuitive Eating/mindfulness journey I have found that my life has changed in more ways than just my eating habits. I am doing things that make me feel fulfilled and happy whether it be reading, eating pizza, watching a documentary, or taking a walk outside. Practicing mindfulness has been a huge tool in my recovery when it comes to my eating disorder and dealing with my anxiety and depression.

I am so much more happier. Everything in my life just seems brighter and makes more sense. Ever since I let go of trying to please others and stopped following trends to find myself, everything seems to have fallen into place. Although new things arise each day, week, month and year, life is directing me and I am allowing it to guide me. You can’t predict the future and to waste your time and energy on trying to do so, you’re just going to bring yourself down. This is the most important lesson I have learned in my 22 years of life.

I’m glad to be back here blogging. Writing is such an important outlet for me and I’ve been really neglecting it. I still want to write a novel – one I’ve been planing to start for years but, I just can’t find that spark or idea to start it all. I’ve written down many story line ideas and none of them click. I feel like I have this roadblock in front of me and I just don’t see how to get past it.

I want to be passionate about writing again but, I am so impatient. It is hard for me to just write a little, put it down, then start it again the next day. I want it done right there and then and obviously, that could NEVER happen unless I took a week off of work and locked myself in my room but, I can’t do that to myself.

I guess this is where practicing mindfulness comes in and patience as a whole. I’ve been being more mindful of when I am not patient and it is becoming more clear that I have very little but, I’m working on it and that’s what counts. I am hopeful that I can start brainstorming again while practicing patience when it comes to my writing.

That is pretty much it. Not sure how to conclude this blog post but, I appreciate anyone who has taken the time to read this.

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Sick as a dog

I don’t understand why I keep getting so sick. Why does my immune system suck so bad? I exercise, eat right for the most part…sure, I drink here and there and indulge in the wonders in life but who doesn’t? I literally was sick a month ago, hacking and wacking in bed and here I am AGAIN sick. I took numerous doses of cough medicine last night and I kept waking up dying with this horrible cough, like this medicine did NOTHING for me…so frustrating. I don’t understand this madness whatsoever.

I’ve been thinking about my novel again, creating ideas in my mind..I really should write them down so I have a better idea of where it will all fall, but putting my thoughts to paper is the challenge, isn’t it? Speaking of novels I read the first book in the Divergent series a few months ago and I finally watched the movie today. I was pleasently surprised with Shailene Woodley’s performance, I loved her in Secret Life of The American Teenager, but never knew she would actually do well in an action role. I love these sort of dystopia series like The Hunger Games, so fun to read and so unrealistic in my opinon, imagine our world like that? Or living in one for the matter, the ideas and imagainations these authors have are incredible, I only hope that mine can stretch as far.

I’m heading to the doctors as we speak, hopefully I can find some answers and get some medicine that will actually work!