Where to start..

The last few days I’ve just been sort of in a haze. I feel like this shell of a body, nothing really inside, just aimlessly walking the surface of this Earth. I don’t really feel anything, I just feel content. Not happy, not really sad. I go through my moments of feeling one way or the other but I do not linger. Lingering on emotions that will only bring you down is not worth it, you are your number one. It is hard to remember that though, especially when your emotions are misguided. This fog casted over me has made it hard to see, hard to grasp reality but it is starting to slowly become clear. I know that life has a funny way of playing things out and sometimes it is unclear of what will come but it is important that we hold onto to hope. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning with things consistently crashing around me but I take each downfall and learn something from it, therefore attempting to find the silver lining. There are so many ways to deal with disappointment, you can dwell on it and beat yourself up, or you can rise above it and be thankful for the experience. It still breaks your heart to feel the twinge of regret, but living in the past will not change the present or future. I can be wise sometimes, I know that I have the tools to live a positive and fulfilled life and I’ve come a long way, but I do doubt myself often. Am I doing the right thing for myself? Will this action make me happy? I don’t always have the right answers and I make uninformed decisions often, but I am always learning. I’m frustrated with my past actions, I am paying greatly for those but I refuse to let it bury me alive. I refuse to give up and I will be damned if I don’t succeed in life.