She will live

She didn’t know how to love, nor did she know how to love herself. Romance novels filled her head with expectations of a love that she would never find, her expectations too high. She spent her time alone in her room painting and writing, waiting to find that fulfillment she longed for. Growing up she didn’t have many friends and most nights were spent alone watching movies filled with adventure and promise. She idolized these characters and the life they possessed, she too wanted to find a thrill in her lack-lustered life. Each night she wrote in her journal of all the hopes and dreams she had of finding love and excitement, but the following days continued to be a disappointment. She relied on outside sources to fuel her fire, to motivate her each day. Being alone was something that tore her from the inside out, constantly tossing and turning each thought in her brain. She felt lonely most days and never knew how to fill the void that was left in her beating heart. No amounts of writing, reading, and daydreaming could erase the pain she felt each day. She wanted to know what it felt like to truly live and one day she did. A handful of sleeping pills with a tall glass of water brought reality to the surface. While her eyes started to close and her breath shallow, she saw how fragile life could be. She felt this warmth spread over her like a wildfire, as if someone was picking her up off the ground and placing her in the hands of happiness. She never realized what she was capable of, that within a blink of an eye our time here on Earth can cease to exist. She awoke from the darkness and saw the world anew. She vowed to take each moment and cherish it, to take every stride with positivity and a smile. Yes, the darkness haunts and eats at her when it gets its chance, but no longer does she give in. She realizes that she does not need anyone or anything to give her the fulfillment of life. That with each day she lives with the glass half full, she is living and happy.


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