Frustration rambles with a brighter ending

I literally hate Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday with a passion. I wake up early to either go to the gym or class, barely eat breakfast, make a quick cup of coffee and I’m out the door. I sit in class for two to three hours, then dash from school to work, work for about five hours or so, get out anywhere from 5:30-6:30, then go home to do homework or hit the gym if I didn’t go that morning, THEN do my homework. By the time it is all said and done it is about nine o’clock, maybe a bit later and I still have to make dinner, shower, and then go to bed. I barely eat enough, yesterday was the first day in awhile that I continuously ate throughout the day and there were times where I felt sick to my stomach because my body isn’t used to me consuming a consistent food throughout the day, I know I need to better meal plan but I’m so exhausted it is hard to keep up with shit like that but I know I’m just making excuses for myself but any busy woman knows that the last thing she wants to do after a long day is cook or meal prep for the next day.

I’m tired though, really tired. I didn’t realize that by taking on a primarily Mon-Fri job, while also going to school full time, was going to wear me down as much as it is. Although I am determined to keep up with the work I’ve been doing, it can be saddening to feel so worn out all the time, I feel bad because my friends want to hang out and I just don’t have enough time unless it is the weekends, or I get a lot of my homework done in one night so I don’t have to do any for the rest of the week which is what is probably going to happen tonight and I’m dreading it. I’ve been trying to go to the gym every other day so I can have enough time to recover while also doing homework and staying on top of that as well, so far so good, tomorrow I’m going to try to get there at like 7am, which means I’ll probably get up at about 6:30am, then go to class but tomorrow is my day off so I can actually relax after class if I want, which will be really nice, I look froward to that greatly. All in all I am grateful for my job and being able to go to school just getting into the swing of things and adjusting to this new schedule has been more challenging than expected. With time I am confident that I can push through the sleepiness and anxiety and rise above it all, I just need to keep focused, keep my sanity in check, and continue to just write it out on here or in my personal journal when the going gets tough. I hate getting anxiety over things like this because these are things that are out of my control, and I need to conform and keep on working with doing things that will help me get to where I want to go.

On a brighter note, I gave in my application and deposit for the England trip in May, only eight months away! I’m excited, really excited to explore England and to see a different part in this crazy world of ours, I can only imagine what I will discover on this trip about myself, and about traveling in general. I know I’ll fall even more in love with it because I already am, I am extremely thankful for the support from my friends and family too, although it’ll be tough, I know that I can financially make this trip work and have the time of my life, thank you to those individuals who never give up on me.


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