Since school started last week I’ve literally been brain fried. I’ve been forgetting stupid things or showing up to work a half an hour early, just a mindless zombie I guess. I’m exhausted by 9pm, I honestly went to bed last night at about 9:30pm and woke up at 7:30am this morning feeling pretty rested but taking a three hour painting class then running to work just wears me out. I would like to go to the gym, get back into a routine like that but by the end of the day I’m too damn tired. I think I’m going to start waking my ass up at 7am on the days I have photography class because that way I get to the gym by 7:30 work out till maybe 8:45, get home for 9-9:10 lets say and then shower, and run to class…that might be cutting it close though, so I should probably get up at 6:30am. Ugh, although I am lucky, I usually get weekends off, this whole busy ass Mon-Fri schedule is killing me, I feel like I am a part of the Walking Dead, minus all the rotting skin and lack of common sense. Yesterday I had off, I lounged around, put off homework till 7 at night and didn’t clean my room like my mother had asked me…oops, that is the task of the night tonight along with more homework, yay. I feel sluggish, like maybe I need a tune up or an extra kick in the ass to get moving, but at the same time I am thankful for my busy life because I feel like if it wasn’t busy, I would go nuts and want to rip all of my hair out and probably end up on the couch stuffing my face with food while watching Dr. Phil.
Some stuff has been going on in my head too, just mixed feelings and my heart is just all over the place, I know it sounds dramatic but I’m a writer and dramatic is what I do. I feel like my emotions are suffocating me, like I’m drowning in love, anger, sadness, and happiness all at the same time if that even makes sense. I know that everything happens for a reason and that it will all workout they way it is supposed to, but the anticipation, the not knowing is what drains me. I am hopeful that as time goes on and I settle into my new schedule and when all this emotional crap figures itself out, I’ll finally find some sort of peace.